I cannot say I enjoyed this but it was illuminating and the gradual unfolding of the participants situations and the long-term traumatic effect that it had on them was very powerful.
Sad but not surprising that a ‘cycle of abuse’ was a common thread – from Sally’s upbringing, to her relationships and, subsequently, her children’s physical abuse by their stepfather (the murder victim) and then in their lives, with abusive relationships, compounded by PTSD. The impact of military service, particularly in Afghanistan – her son did 5 tours there – was also a significant element. And while better understood, is still not perhaps given the significance that it should have. And it was strange/predictable/both, that the children went into the Army, an intrinsically violent way of life. Or because of no other opportunities – in the way that Sally did when she could not complete her degree (money!) and so had to become self-sufficient.
As the story unfolded, it was fascinating to hear Sally talk, in a very extensive interview, which made up the bulk of the series, about how she saw herself and her actions. She seemed to have come to terms with it – or at least was sure in her own mind, who she was and the reasons for her actions. But it was not as apparently simple as she made out, as we found out later on when other aspects of her life were explored, many of which came out in the trial. The trial also showed the importance of listening to the advice your lawyer gives, as it seems that her insistence on testifying in her own defence was a major misjudgment – as her solicitor acknowledged.
But at the end, she seemed to be at peace, in a decent relationship and with a good relationship with her children. Both of these were very impressive in their considered response and thoughts about what happened, how it affected them and how their feelings and emotions about the events and their feelings towards their mother changed.